The World that was Transparent
by lemon squeeze
Summary: AU. Ash, May, and Max are all siblings who now live with foster parents. With everything changing and the three growing up, will Ash and May pin-point exactly what they've been feeling for each other? Advanceshipping. Incest. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pokemon.

AN: Haven't found an Advanceshipping fic where they are brother and sister, so I thought I might as well write it up. Maybe it might be something you've never read, but it might just offer something different to the table (at least for the advanceshipping fandom. Frankly, there's a lot of brother/sister fics, incest in general fics out there). None like this I hope. :)

**WARNING:** M rating because of adulterated themes and **incest**- it's not explicit or too graphic yet, but later on it just might, so a bit of a warning now. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. **I WARNED YOU**!

Ages: Ash-18 May-17 Max-10

"_Somewhere is my seemingly broken and fragile heart,_

_Covered and hidden by words under the pretense of being strong"_

**Chapter 1 **

A pillow laid gently over Ash's head as he pressed it down and yelled in anguish. He was absolutely exhausted. He was so tired, yet he could not fall asleep. His messy hair was unruly, and he felt beads of sweat trickle down his forehead to his cheek as he threw the pillow off the bed and continued to toss and turn. He groaned, his brain not allowing him to sleep. His chest constricted, and he felt so isolated in his room, in his clothes. He disliked the feeling tremendously. He ripped off his clothes to only be in his boxers, but it still wasn't enough. He was feeling this way earlier, and his mother guessed he must have been running a fever or something, but he knew that wasn't it. His eyes refused to close, for he couldn't stop reminding himself of their anniversary. Ash's mind was boggled by thoughts of the past. It may have been two weeks ago, but the thought of his parents never left his mind. The thoughts of what his siblings went through after their death never left. Two weeks ago was the anniversary of their death, and he still couldn't stop the nightmares from coming. They usually continued for three days afterwards every year. Now it had been two weeks and he still couldn't get them out of his mind.

Eight years ago, their parents had died in a horrible car accident that caused instant death. He had to be the adult for his siblings back then at the age of ten. May had barely turned nine, while Max was merely two years of age. He always made sure he looked after them when they were forced to live in the foster home. They always stuck together, and stopped from really talking to any of the other kids there. They just played together like a little triad. They all had each others back and watched out for the other. Ash had made sure he had taken care of his siblings no matter what the cost. He protected them. They were all so attached, Ash and May in particularly since Max was too young to understand what had happened.

It was only a few months later that foster parents took them into their home. They were lucky, the owner of the orphanage had said, since not many got picked so quickly. In a way, it made Ash feel guilty since they had just got there while others had been there since they were babies. There was nothing he could do about it however, so they went off with their new parents. That was the last time they really ever played or talked to others their own age (except their odd cousins that always seemed to feel superior to them because their blood was apparently better).

Ash or May never went to public school, for they were home schooled. Their new parents didn't want them to get 'tainted' by public schooling, so they were home schooled since their new mother used to be a teacher. They stayed cooped up in their house most of their days, not able to meet many children their own age.

Ash tossed and turned, his eyes finally closing with nothing but flashbacks of his past.

_May had cried, holding her little brother Max as her eyes closed. Ash made sure not to cry; he refused. Ash frowned hearing her muffled cries. He turned to her, seeing her eyes puffy and scarlet. Her rosy cheeks were tear-struck as water continued to roll down her plumped cheeks. Her hands were occupied, so he brushed her tears away for her. She stared at her older brother, wondering why he wasn't crying. Ash took Max out of her hands so her little arms wouldn't get tired. _

"_Aren't you sad brother?" May sniffled as she wiped away tears. Ash tried his best to smile. He would not cry now. He would not cry when he needed to be strong. He was the older brother, and he wouldn't cry in front of them. He was strong. He would be their iota of hope; he would help them genuinely smile again, even when he himself couldn't hold a true one. _

"_Everything is going to be alright. We'll get through this no matter what. We still have each other!" he told her as he gave her the biggest smile he could muster. To May's unknowing eyes, it seemed authentic. _

"_But… what's going to happen to us now? What are we going to do without mama and papa?" she sobbed as she wiped her tears on her shoulders._

"_Don't worry May. I'll protect us! I'm your big brother, so I won't let anything bad happen to you or Max!" Ash said as he smiled towards her. May nodded as Ash enveloped them into a hug. He could never let them see him shed a single tear. He was strong, and he would only show his strength. _

_May smiled, happy to know her brother was going to fix everything. She believed in him, like she always did. She trusted him with her life, and now was no different. He would protect them. _

_Still, she wished she could do something, anything. He was always protecting her and supporting her, she wanted to be the one giving him the happiness he always seemed to give to her. It was only then that she vowed to do the same. She would be strong for her older brother, who had done so much for her already. She wanted to repay him; she wanted him to know she would become strong for them both as well. She smiled, continuing to hug him tighter with Max in the middle. _

_His weakness, his fears, his everything was shoved to the back of his mind as he smiled at the thought of the sobs slowly halting as time passed. _

"Ash! Wake up-" He felt a smack of a firm pillow hit his head.

"H-huh?" His eyes widened at the sudden wake up call.

"Finally you're awake! Mom made breakfast!" Max called. Ash was on alert now. He licked his lips, tossing his blanket to the other side of the bed and darting out of the door in nothing but boxers. "Wait for me!" Max helplessly shouted at the boy on a mission.

"Ash Ketchum! You know better than to run down in your boxer's young man." His foster mother always reprimanded him every time he came down without getting ready. He always forgot to change before heading downstairs. She placed her hands on her hips as she glared at him. Ash laughed, apologizing. Her attention turned to the ten year old. "And Max, didn't I tell you to wake your sister up too?"

"Sorry mom, but Ash was being too impatient, I had to get down before he ate everything… again!" Max exclaimed, flailing his arms in the air. Their mother sighed, exasperated.

"Here,_ I'll_ go wake her up." Ash volunteered as he decided he should put some clothes on anyways.

"Wait, are you feeling better from before?" his foster mother asked in concern as she walked up to him and placed her hands over his forehead. Ash clasped his hands with hers before setting it down gently.

"Yup, I'm good as new!" Ash stretched and punched the air just to prove it to her. She nodded in understanding, so Ash walked up stairs. When he was at May's door, he noticed it was slightly ajar. He looked in at the darkened room, deciding to head in and close the door behind him. He took a moment to wish there had been locks on the door. It would have sure helped. However, he soon forgot the idea entirely and walked towards the sleeping girl.

He gently shook her shoulder, whispering her name in her ear. She shivered at his breath hitting it. She had turned in her sleep, holding onto his arm. His eyes widened, looking at the beautiful girl before him. Her supple skin was just beautiful while her russet hair lazily grazed her skin in a messy, yet magnificent places on her cheek, each strand looking like part of a masterpiece. He bent down, his face just close enough to almost touch her lips. She was so beautiful; he didn't want to wake her. He could watch her all day, if he was able to.

"May," he whispered into her ear once more.

"Ash…" she trailed off, turning in her sleep. He was a bit surprised that she'd say his name in her dreams. His fingers grazed the juncture between her neck and clavicle, running them over her shoulders. His lips barely caressed hers as they moved down to the crook of her neck. She had moaned, holding onto his arm tighter. Her eyes momentarily opened, fluttering before they opened to meet auburn eyes staring right at her. She blushed, her face mere centimeters from his.

"Ash, I-"she was interrupted by his lips pressing against hers in need. It felt incredible. Her tense body from the shock soon relaxed when she realized what was happening. Ash smirked; he was happy things had gotten to this point. He was happy things had happened the way they did. He loved her so much. He'd do anything in his power to make her smile, to protect her and keep her safe.

His kiss became more forceful as he demanded entrance into her wet mouth, exploring everywhere while her timid tongue tried to fend him off with her own. He attacked her as she moaned in absolute rapture. His fingers moved to her abdomen, caressing her curves and moving north, just barely touching her breast before she pulled away, staring straight into his eyes once more. They were panting, their chest pounding, their bodies pressed against each other... his eyes showed so much need and desire. She wasn't sure what to do anymore. He stared into her with so much love and adoration that _he _wasn't sure of what to do with her or himself. All he could think about was how all this started, so thankful.

* * *

><p>This had all started two weeks ago. Ash was getting yelled at again by his foster mother. They were each arguing on what he was going to do with his life. He was already eighteen, but he hadn't been working or thinking of going to college- he never was too good at learning the material. He still wasn't doing anything with his life, and his foster mother was furious at the man. He really couldn't blame her either. He was eighteen and he still hadn't had a job or a girlfriend. Although, to be fair, he hadn't been out since they lived with their foster parents. They were beyond protective, and they felt sorry for them, so they did the right thing and adopted all three of them, not having the heart to separate the three of them. It was all or nothing anyways. It was weird, adapting to such a new life, a real big changer. All three of them were home schooled, so not only did they not get the chance to meet other kids their own age to socialize more, but they also never got the chance to actually learn how to get a job. But it wasn't like he was trying or anything. He would have guessed he was just getting lazy over the past years since they were well taken care of.<p>

In reality, what was between them may have started two weeks ago, but his feelings had started a long while ago. For the past few years, he had been getting a lot of different feelings his parents never bothered to talk about. It was strange. He never felt this way before. Luckily, their parents actually gave them internet access, so he would usually just hop on and look through very… provocative sites. He was experiencing different emotions he had never felt before. Different things started to happen.

He started to look at his little sister differently for one. The age difference was only about a year, so she was maturing along with him, her faster than Ash ever imagined. He started noticing her body, and he began feeling different things for her. Things he shouldn't be feeling for his younger sister. He had sensations that left him tingly, and he got sudden urges during times he shouldn't.

At first it scared him. He hated the fact that he would think of his sister in such a light he'd think of the porn stars on the internet, but… his mind was reeling just at the very thought at the moment. At first he tried not to think about it, to ignore it, to keep it away from the forefront of his mind. However, his mind got bombarded with images of her. It had been getting more frequent the past few months. He felt it might even be a chronic disorder.

The more he saw her, watched her, the more he couldn't get May out of his mind. In the end, he kept these feelings hidden throughout the years and only thought of her in the dark depths of his room when no one was around and everyone else was sleeping soundly and unaware.

There was even an instance he couldn't control himself just at the sight. He had previously ran into her while she was in the bathroom taking a shower. He couldn't believe it when he ran towards the bathroom, and she was about to come out. The two had bumped into each other, and he got a view of her in only a towel. He could just about see the crest that separated her two mounds that were covered by the towel. He looked down, completely enthralled by her curves, the droplets trickling down her supple skin, her shapely body, her wet hair mounted on her rosy cheeks...

"S-sorry," she mumbled as she got up and ran to her room, slamming the door. He only stared at her door. He looked down, knowing he couldn't hide what was stirring him inside at the sight of her long, slender legs that were absolutely perfection- she was perfection. He knew he got a glimpse of her beautiful cheeks, wet and glossed after her wash. Image after image pounded through, ready to break his skull in half. It was so erotic, so raunchy; he couldn't hide himself any longer. He knew this feeling too well, and he knew what problems it would bring if anyone caught him in such a state. He ran to his room, not bothering to lock his door as the only thing he had on his mind was her, and releasing this pressure building up inside, churning his insides into mush.

* * *

><p>The occasion two weeks ago was just one of those nights where he would think of her. These feelings would usually erect from the pit of his stomach and stirred him until he finally relinquished the sensation. He couldn't help but feel good by that feeling. It felt so good, relieving that pressure he held whenever he thought of her. He felt dirty and ashamed for doing such lewd activities, thinking of so many provocative situations he could have with her- all the things they could do together- when he was supposed to be both his little brother and sister's role model. He was the oldest after all, and he made an oath to take care of them. How would he look if they saw him in this predicament? How would it look if they saw him like this, doing this, right this very second? He always hid himself from the world, and more importantly, from them. He had to hide behind a smile, he had to hide behind his strong demeanor. He was a mere child, but he had to grow up far sooner than he should have. He had to deal with everything by himself. He made sure he got their burdens and his, taking them all on his own. What would they think if he saw him so vulnerable, so in need… so <em>weak<em>?

He groaned, closing his eyes, trying to get everything out of his mind, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. He needed to finish first. However, his brain wouldn't allow it unfortunately.

His breath hitched, a disturbing thought rushing through him. If his little sister walked in, if she saw him... it would only turn him on more, he realized. He moaned at the very thought, wondering why he couldn't? He was the oldest, it was perfectly natural… he was a man now, and he could do what he damn well pleased. He did not hesitate when thinking of his little sister anymore. Thoughts poured over him, one after another. His groans became a crescendo of moans as he felt himself stirring at the very thought. He didn't care. He didn't care of anything but the now, the present, his release. He didn't care when he heard the door creak open, when a small, exasperated, maybe even repulsed gasp made its way to his ears.

From the corner of his eye, he saw his dream, his very thoughts come true. She was watching him with bulging eyes. Curiosity was etched in the glint of her azure orbs as she watched, her teeth biting her bottom lip as she grabbed onto the hinges of the door frame.

He couldn't care. He just saw her watching, and deep down, he wanted her to watch. He didn't say anything, he didn't stop. He wondered if she'd turn away or say what a pervert he was, but she didn't. She just continued to watch like a child fascinated with a butterfly or a kaleidoscope. He couldn't help but smirk, this being too good to be true. Maybe his brain was over thinking, but he felt as if she was enjoying it, that she was turned on herself. The very thought made him hot. He could only imagine what she would be doing to herself, what she could be doing, what he could be doing to her.

His grip seemed unbearable, yet his grunts increased. His respirations were coming out faster and faster. He gritted his teeth as he felt like melting away right their in absolute rapture.

It was too much for him. Euphoria was pouring out of him as he grunted from pure ecstasy. He couldn't help but see her reaction as spurts of cum rushed out. He stared at her so covert through the corner of his eye, and he loved the way she was entranced with those bursting eyes of hers. The way she stared in complete focus and concentration, as if seeing something for the very first time… she was so innocent.

He guessed it was the first time she had ever seen something as lascivious as that. He panted, looking at his glistened hand as he continued to think of her in satisfaction. He finally decided to look over to tell her that he saw her, when his door frame was empty. At first he had wondered if it was just his imagination, when he heard the door next to him slam shut. He wondered how she reacted to all of it even more. He wondered if she'd be okay.

He frowned, realizing exactly what he just did. That moment, no matter how great it was to him, probably traumatized her. His little sister, his cute, innocent little sister, saw another side of him that night. She saw the disturbed, warped boy that wanted nothing more than affection- the boy he tried to hide from them.

After that moment of lust- after that idiotic moment, he felt nothing but emptiness. She had left in disgust he was sure.

She would look at him differently now.

He frowned, wishing he could turn back time, but he really wished it was all a lie. Yet, he knew it was all pretense. His heart told a different story.

He truly wished she was still there, with the same chaste expression on her face. He just wanted things to go farther than they had. He wanted her to close the distance and say the things he wished she would, do the things he wished she would.

He tugged his hair, not believing what he was thinking. He couldn't keep thinking this way. It was unhealthy, and it was morally wrong and sick. _He _was sick.

He wondered how long he could keep this charade, keep this to himself. It was all boiling up from the moment he hid behind his smile and words.

His tough act was crumbling, he was crumbling down, and he wasn't sure why he was feeling so relieved by it.

He was dropping to the bottom, to the epitome of low.

It invigorated, yet scared him how much he wanted to take her down with him, but only if she wanted the same.

His desires, his feelings- it all boiled down to if she was willing. He hoped, boy did he hope.

He didn't want to lose her. He wanted her by his side forever. He wanted to keep her, hold her, tell her it was going to be alright like he used to.

Afterwards, he didn't cry at the prospect of losing her. He was too used to not crying. He'd keep it inside like he usually did. He sighed; sleep was not coming to him as he thought of events that shouldn't have transpired. His head was jumbled, and he didn't know how to unravel this puzzle that hardly ever revealed itself easily. He kept on thinking of his lustful act, how sick, wrong, and disturbing it was, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't deny he loved every minute of it. His jaw clenched, thinking it over once again now that his head was clear.

"I should apologize to her. I should have stopped then, I should have done something than being an idiot. I'm such an idiot." He sighed in irritation, rolling over and trying to let sleep take over him for the night.

As he already knew, sleep never came.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Not as graphic as what I could have made it, but meh. :/ I'm surprised that it actually sounds a bit dark towards the end. This story won't be too long. Maybe about nine chapters tops.

Hope you enjoyed! Reviews will be appreciated. I don't know if it's good or not. Give me some ways my writing can improve… share your thoughts, and thanks for reading and review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pokemon.

**AN:** THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! I really appreciate everyone who reviewed! I'm so glad many enjoyed it, and thoroughly surprised! Specifically, thank you music watch for such an amazing review! Really, I'm glad you enjoyed it and it really made my day. Also, to answer your question, I pretty much have this entire story mapped out (just have to write everything), and it definitely won't be like those high school fics you see around here, as you described (I personally don't think so). There's a lot of issues that both Ash and May need to face and establish, along with looking at their future as well, so there will be a lot more going on and a lot more they have to deal with. I hope that answered your question, and thanks everyone once again for the amazing reviews!

**WARNING:** MA rating because of **lemons** and **incest**- it's pretty explicit and graphic (at least later on), so a bit of a warning now. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. **I WARNED YOU**! Since it's AU, it's OOC too.

"_Unnoticed, the perfectly clear water has become dull and muddy_

_When you realized that I too had grown up"_

_- "The World that was Transparent" by Motohiro Hata (Otherwise known as The seventh opening to Naruto Shippuden; didn't give credit to it last chapter, sorry).  
><em>

**Chapter 2**

When Ash came down for breakfast the next day, May seemed perfectly normal. She acted normal anyways. She still gave everyone her same bright smile, she still held the same type of conversations, and she still had the same appetite. It all seemed so ordinary. Why did everything feel so normal, when his mind was anything but? His head was filled with so much chaos, he didn't know what to say or do all throughout breakfast. He just kept on thinking about how he should start the conversation, how she would react, what would happen.

Was it just him? Could it have been just his sick fantasy that just imagined her there? He shook his head, absolutely positive she was there. She had to be.

He wanted her to be.

Perhaps he should have been thankful for this normalcy though. He didn't wish for his parents to grow suspicious or for his semblance of reality to crumble.

Yet, he wasn't. He wished something would happen. Being idle, not doing anything about it, wasn't in his persona. No, he was very impatient.

He looked up to the wall the held a clock.

The clock ticked so slowly it seemed.

_Tick, tick, tick…_

His heartbeat was beating with the ticks at first. Now, the beating seemed to double until it lost any semblance of a rhythm. In fact, he couldn't hear anything but the clattering of forks and spoons, and the muffled sounds of laughter in the background. Everything in his line of vision blurred, and he knew he wasn't going to be thinking straight anytime soon. He seemed to be in his own little world now, completely oblivious to anything anymore, sweat dripping down as he felt incredibly clustered and isolated and hot.

_Tick, tick, tick…_

"Ash, are you alright?" His mother frowned as she leaned in and laid her hand to his forehead, driving Ash out of his stupor.

"Huh?" Ash mumbled panic-stricken. She was concerned by him, knowing he was acting strange.

"Honey, you're burning up. Come on, let's get you into bed mister."

"Mom, I-I'm fine. Really," he tried to persuade, but she was a persistent women and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"No, I'm not having any of this."

"Stop treating me like a baby." He looked around the room, noticing concern eyes surrounding him. When he stared into a certain pair of oceanic eyes, she briskly turned, continuing her breakfast. His mouth dried, unable to handle this.

She was avoiding him. She had to be. Why else would she have turned away?

That made his stomach turn more than anything else.

He couldn't say anything, not even when his mother was rushing him up the stairs to lie in bed. She had taken care of him and made chicken noodle soup.

"Thanks, mom," he said taking a moment to slurp a bit of the broth, the warm liquid passing through his throat. He was eating for her sake. His appetite wasn't much anymore unfortunately; however, she would know something was wrong if he hadn't at least tried to eat-she'd probably even question him, and he didn't want that. Even with her talk about him finally being an adult, she still wanted to treat him like a child. Moments like this were because she knew she didn't want to let him go and still thought of his well-being. Of course she did, she always did. She wanted to baby him like this, yet still wanted him to finally do something better for himself.

She had walked out, mentioning something about how he needed rest. He knew that was the truth.

He was sure he wouldn't be able to get any rest with thoughts of his sister plaguing his mind.

The next morning, things seemed the same per usual. It unnerved him. His mother promptly asked if he was fine, with him sighing and explaining he felt much better. It was still a lie- he knew the longer he didn't hear May, the more exacerbated he'd feel. He still couldn't let this show, however. It was too big a risk.

As he sat down, ready to grab some pancakes, when his mother laid her hand on his forehead once more.

"You aren't burning up, so that's a good sign. Still, you should put on something warmer just in case," his mother observed.

"Leave the boy alone. He's fine," their father interjected, stuffing a fork full of eggs and bacon into his mouth. His mother still seemed worried.

"Mom, I'm fine. You worry too much; I'm going to be fine." Ash stood to leave.

"Look Mitch, he hasn't even finished his breakfast. I know when something's wrong."

Mother's did know best. He inwardly groaned, trying to bring himself to how he'd normally act. From the corner of his eye, he noticed May hadn't eaten as much as she usually would either. She kept covertly sneaking glances at him, sheepishly staring at her food afterwards.

Finally, a sign that she actually did see him. He didn't want to think how much he enjoyed this fact. He berated himself, knowing he should have been terrified. He should have wanted this to be forgotten.

But he didn't.

It scared him to know that not so deep down, he wanted things to progress between them. He didn't need to dig deeper, for the only thing burying these thoughts was his conscious, desperately trying to show him reason and logic that he apparently hadn't been paying attention to. He feared his conscious would soon loose because the more his conscious tried to bury these thoughts on shallow grounds, the more he exhumed those thoughts to life.

Soon- he was afraid yet excited- it would become a loosing battle.

* * *

><p>"Can I go, please?" Max begged, practically hanging on his mother's leg.<p>

"Get off the floor and behave, Max!" his mother chided.

"It's just… I really want to go!" he whined.

"It's because of those snacks Ash makes you sneak into the cart, right?" she presumed, and Max pouted.

"No way! I won't condone his laziness. If he wants something, he should get it himself," Max argued, and she sighed, finally relenting.

"Oh, alright. Now, get your coat then. It's freezing." Max cheered, running up the stairs to look for his coat. When Max ran back downstairs, she called out, "Ash, May! We'll be going to the grocery store really quick to pick some ingredients for the salad. Watch over everything, alright? My casserole is in the oven, so make sure to take it out when you hear the timer, okay?" He watched May nod as she closed the door behind them.

"Bye mom!" Ash saw her sitting on the couch, and he gulped, not sure what to say really.

"May," he called, and he could tell she became stiff at hearing his voice.

"Yeah?" she asked, her eyes finally reaching his own.

"I thought we should talk about what happened." Ash turned to May, and noticed her eyes grew as wide as a little child's, not sure what she should do. He frowned, wondering if she were scared of him now. Was she disgusted in him? Did she not want to be near him at all anymore, thinking he was a complete pervert? This thought made him wish she would forget this ever happened. If she truly was disgusted of him, he'd rather have the old times before he had fulfilled his fantasy. At least that way things wouldn't feel this awkward between them and he knew she admired and looked up to him.

Maybe she just wanted to forget the entire thing ever happened. Maybe she thought it was a dream. Either way, he brought her back to reality. He was glad, because he figured he had been the only one lost and conflicted these last two days.

"I-I guess so," she stammered, her voice becoming very timid. He'd never seen her act so shy since she was a child, and even then she was very flamboyant and happy-go-lucky.

He sighed, knowing it was now or never. "Look May, I'm sorry about what you saw that night. I didn't mean for you to see me do that." _Lies- _his conscious screamed in his head.

He avoided it.

"I-I understand. It's was just weird. It was my fault, I should have knocked first." May squinted. He could tell she was wishing she'd been erased off the face of the earth. She was so embarrassed. "I-I was just going to ask you about something before, but I don't know… I don't know what I was doing. I'm sorry."

"Don't blame yourself. I should have locked my door. I was being stupid… like always," he added, smiling at her giggle. He was glad he could still make her laugh.

"We should just forget that ever happened." Ash merely nodded, knowing it was for the best. Yet, his chest ached in yearning, wishing for more words to be spoken.

"So umm. Are we good?" May gulped, sheepishly nodding. Ash sighed, "good." He decided it was best to leave it at that.

"Um, Ash?" she asked, seeming unsure of herself.

"Hmm?"

"When I was going into your room to talk, I was going to ask you about mom and dad." He nodded, sitting down on the couch with her. "I've been thinking about them lately. I mean, I miss them, and I know they can never come back, but I just wonder how different our lives would be if they were still alive." She quickly brushed tears, her shoulders raising with each sob.

"May…" Ash laid a hand on her shoulder, quelling her melancholy. He brought her into an embrace, easing her pain and frustrations.

"I was just wishing they'd see us now." Her tears dampened his T-shirt, yet he didn't notice at all.

"They are. They're up there, looking at you, and saying what a beautiful young woman you turned out to be. I bet they're really proud of you, May." There was a pause, the only thing heard was May's sobs calming. He continued to placate her, his finger pads rubbing small circles into the fabric of her shirt.

"Thanks. I needed that. They've just been on my mind a lot recently." May pulled away, wiping the rest of her tears as a small smile grazed her stunning face. His chest ached, wishing she'd stay locked in their embrace. He didn't want to let her go. Ash gulped, coughing a bit.

"I get it. I've been thinking about them too," he reassured, his own smile rising. He patted her back.

"Thanks for listening."

"Anytime May. You know you could always talk to me." She nodded, sincerely thankful.

His heart swelled, knowing he'd always be there for her no matter what occurred.

* * *

><p>For some reason, it was still nerve-wracking. His desires continued, and he was afraid they might soon culminate into something he couldn't control. He wasn't sure what he would do, but he didn't like it. He wished his fantasies became reality. He wished she felt the same way he felt about her. He wanted her. And he was terrified for wanting her so badly.<p>

He attempted to ease his mind by heading downstairs and watching one of his favorite shows. He wanted at least one moment where he didn't think about her.

As he continued to watch, the person he was trying to keep away from his mind was walking downstairs. His mouth dried, his eyes immediately going to her legs. Her yellow pajama shorts gave an excellent view of her slender legs that he loved so much. He loved it when she wore those pajamas solely for that reason. He was thankful for the recent hot and humid nights. He stared up to see she merely wore a white tank top that although barely showed cleavage, certainly exemplified them along with highlighting her silky skin. It left a lot for his imagination to explore her body in the most intricate of ways. He mentally cursed, wishing he could blame her for having such raunchy thoughts rush through him. He really had to think of something else. He could already feel the increased pressure in between his loins.

"May…"

"Ash… where's mom and dad?" she asked looking around.

"They went to pick some stuff up. I think they said something about Aunt Mariel's baby. Max's upstairs, playing some video game last I checked." He quickly turned away from her, trying to remain focused on the T.V.

"Did mom say if Aunt Mariel already name him?"

"Not yet. Mom said they're still deciding. Probably going to think name him out of the blue right then and there when the baby comes. You know how Uncle Jon and Aunt Mariel are." May laughed, nodding. It was then that she noticed he was flipping through the channels.

"I was going to watch T.V.," May interjected.

"Well I was watching first. Sorry, but no can do." He laughed at her crestfallen face.

"Not cool, you know my show is on right now!"

"Yeah, but my show moved to this time, so I want to watch. It's the season finale!"

"I don't care! We had an agreement!" May exclaimed. "Give me the remote!"

"I don't think so," he said in between laughs. She smirked, trying to reach for it when he held it up from her grasp. Her face returned to the same sorrowful frown she held.

"This isn't fair!" May groaned, trying to reach for it.

"Sis, you need to learn life isn't fair." He smirked, sticking his tongue out as she continued to jump as high as she could in an attempt to reach it. He couldn't help his eyes wandering to her bouncing bosom, distracting himself with the fantastic view. In her attempt to retrieve the remote, she stumbled, tumbling down and taking her brother along with her, said brother completely distracted to do anything about it.

"Sorry…" she trailed off, and then smirked when he forgot the remote. She was about to grab it, when his hands were already on it.

"Nice try, but you have to do better than that." May fumed.

"Ash, if you don't give me the remote this instant…" Her voice held so much authority, he could have sworn she sounded like his mother. It even made him gulp in fear, his eyes glazed with fright for a second. She straddled him, and they rolled around on the floor, May trying to get her hands on the remote.

"Nu-uh." May groaned in annoyance at his persistence.

"You're acting like a child you know." Her hands moved to his chest. Holy… she probably didn't even know what she was doing to him. How could she not realize it? It felt so good, and he panicked, feeling himself harden underneath her. He attempted to hold back his moans, when she continued to grab for the remote, grinding against him.

He couldn't stop the muffled groan. She had stopped what she was doing, staring down at him with widened eyes while he stared up with squinted ones, looking at her reaction.

She seemed frozen in her place.

He didn't want her to stop though, he wanted her to keep doing what she was doing, yet she felt his reaction. Oh god, she felt it. What is she going to think now? She's gonna know now, she's gonna know how attracted he is to her. He bit his lip, trying to prevent his hands from moving to her hips and grinding her against him himself.

He couldn't bring himself to do anything. Not to her, not to his little sister… he couldn't.

…but he wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to.

He wasn't sure how long this torture continued with the stillness of everything while she straddled him, her hands still on his chest, trembling a bit.

In his head, all he could think now was, _"Move."_ How he wanted her to move...

He wasn't sure if this truly happening, but somehow, his prayers were answered.

She had ground up against him, and this time he didn't try to hide his desire by stifling his moan.

What was happening? He wasn't sure. Why would she continue, knowing that it was her brother underneath him, as hard and erect as possible. The thought of it being a dream hadn't run through his mind, for he drew a blank. This couldn't have been a dream anyways, because this was far better than any dream he had ever had. He couldn't think really, but he felt, and it felt _amazing._ He loved the experience. Heat ran through him, the friction between them causing him to sweat as she awkwardly moved against him, shaken by the bulge she was straddling. He just felt.

Now, right now, he merely felt as both their clothed nether regions ground up against each other, desperately trying to connect without the unfathomable layers of fabric.

His breath hitched, and she panted, her eyes gleamed with something else. He would never imagine she'd have that look in her eyes… the look he knew was reflected in his own.

He wanted to see her with that look again. His hands gripped her hips, pulling her towards him with much more force.

He gasped out with a throaty moan. He distinctly heard her gasp as well, her legs shaking at the feeling between her legs. She smelled so good too. He wanted to pull her down, just to smell her skin and hair- her hair always smells like vanilla. He wanted to taste her also. She probably tasted delicious- he wanted his tongue to trace every part of her skin, painting her with his saliva while he worked on her body that was his canvas.

* * *

><p>He really wasn't sure what had happened, but feeling his sister grind against him felt so great. He could distinctly hear her small pants and mewls as his hands clamped on her hips in an attempt to increase the friction between them. She let out a mewl as a rather hard thrust made her quiver.<p>

"May," he groaned, his hands that were holding onto her hips were now roaming her body. It scared her at first, making her heart jump, but now it leaped erratically at the touches, his caresses bringing out a moan.

It felt nice, and the sensual way his hands glided across her body brought out more moans. Touching her like this made his heart skip a beat.

His throaty moan sent him seeing white as he soiled his pants with warm cum. He had already felt wetness before, but, surprisingly, it wasn't from him.

He could feel the tingling sensation of her breath on the side of his neck as she rested, still trying to regain her composure. He as well needed to calm down. As their chest meshed together with every exhale, he could feel her hard nipples brushing over his own. He bit his lip, debating whether he should grab her lovely mounds or not.

After a moment, she squealed, jumping away from him as he finally composed himself enough to rush upstairs to clean himself up.

He didn't want to take a shower, however. Her scent still lingered on his clothes, and her touches were still etched on his skin, the wetness he felt through his clothes still there. He didn't want all traces of her leaving his body. He didn't want the feel of her body on him to be forgone. The only way he could come close to describing what he went through, was an outer body experience. Pure euphoria raced through his entire body, and he loved every minute of it.

He had let the warm water run for a moment before stepping inside, knowing his thoughts were ridiculous.

He wondered what brought her to do such things. An inkling of hope rose in his chest, and he felt strangely optimistic.

Maybe it meant she had felt the same way. Maybe she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and he wasn't delusional for even thinking of it. He wanted to know exactly what she'd been feeling.

Only one thing crossed his mind afterwards: he wanted more.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Hope you all enjoyed the this chapter! Sorry for the two months of no updating by the way, I was really busy with work. Please leave more reviews like you did last time. It makes me happy that people actually like it (I was closing my eyes and crossing my fingers, hoping y'all liked it). Please continue to share your opinions on where you think it's going and whether you like where it's going or not. I'd truly love your input on this! It would be a great help to hear from you! Bye!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Everyone is so awesome! Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm so glad a lot of people like this! Really, I never realized how powerful a review is until now (seriously, it gives me so much energy to actually get the next chapter done). Although, this chapter could have come a little earlier, sorry. Oh, and I decided that you all are right, I guess this is an Ash dominated fic. Don't worry though, I decided to add a lot of May's perspective this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, I swear!

**WARNING:** MA rating because of **lemons** and **incest**- it's pretty explicit and graphic (at least later on), so a bit of a warning now. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. **I WARNED YOU**! Since it's AU, it's a bit OOC too.

**Chapter 3**

Was everything always this complicated?

She hadn't left her room at all, and he was worried. He watched as his mother went up the stairs to check up on May as he sat with Max and his dad, continuing their breakfast. She thought May might have caught the same thing he had and briskly kept checking up on her, but he knew. He would love to check up on her, yet he felt as though he shouldn't.

It would force them to bring up what had happened.

He wondered if she regretted what she did. Well, she had to, right? It was obvious she did, wasn't it? She wouldn't be mulled up in her room if that wasn't the case.

Ash frowned at the thought, not sure how he should be feeling. Really, he hadn't done anything bad – she had been the one to initiate it, so he hadn't done anything wrong that she didn't want herself.

Was she ashamed?

That seemed very much plausible to him. He sighed, continuing to attack his plate, harshly stuffing bacon into his mouth in one go before his mom got the chance to reprimand him about it. Thinking about this was too complicated for his taste… he instead decided to give her time to think, because god knows how much time he needed to think about his feelings.

After breakfast, Max had challenged him to a game of _Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit_, although their mother wasn't too fond of the idea.

"Why did I agree to get you guys that vile game? Really Max, you still have work to get through you know. We need to go over some of these math problems of yours."

"But mom, I already know how to do that stuff!" Their mother would have none of that. Max moped, making his way to the table as his mother explained to him the basics of fifth grade algebra.

Ash was left on his own, racing by himself.

* * *

><p>May had trouble sleeping that night, and many more to come. She couldn't sleep, not when she felt so odd and confused, not when she saw...<p>

She gulped, her mouth going dry as she stared at her plain ceiling. Her brain scrambled for an explanation, something that helped explain why she had done the things she had done.

First, May saw what her older brother was doing with himself. She felt queasy. He was… she couldn't even say it, but all she knew was that she couldn't look away.

_Why couldn't she look away? _

She should have either closed the door or called him out on it, saying what a big pervert he was, but she couldn't look away or speak. She just stared, watching him. It was so new, she'd never seen such a sight. She had seen him naked when they were kids, but they weren't little kids anymore and she saw his…

May squealed at the thought, wishing she could block the image ingrained in her head. It was all too surreal. She should have just kept quiet and closed the door. It was his time to himself; he had the right to whatever he needed to do. She frowned, her thoughts wandering to places she didn't want them to. She stirred, not sure why she was panting at the thought of his own panting, his hard breaths that shook her.

She couldn't look away, and she couldn't stop from looking at his hand movements increasing in speed. It was all so foreign, so _fascinating_. She had never seen her brother in such a predicament; she had never seen him look so, so…

She wasn't sure how to describe it, but when she saw his release shoot out, when she saw the complete rapture on his face… it made her happy. His expression was of pure bliss, and she was glad he had moments where his expression wasn't strained, but truly satisfied.

She felt disgusted in herself. That was her older brother… doing things she…

"Ugh," she groaned. May frowned, desperately wishing for the images to stop. She was supposed to think of it as grotesque, yet she couldn't bring herself to see it that way. Like she thought earlier, if her brother wanted some time for himself to feel good, who was she to judge him for it?

Her jaw clenched. This was one of the instances she tried to erase everything that she witnessed out of her mind. Yet, she couldn't, she couldn't do it. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face. All she could hear was his moans and the sound of quick movements as his hands pumped.

All she could feel was the burning feeling in her chest, her dried mouth, her stomach churning as warmth reached her that rose up to her throat.

She was more curious than disgusted, she realized.

She'd never seen a boy exposed before. Moreover, she'd never seen her brother so bare, literally and figuratively.

So much emotion was reached through his cringing face as he had continued his task. She knew he could hold many emotions, but never had she seen this side of him. It was tantalizing, knowing he had such a lustful side to him. It was like learning a deep dark secret from someone so close to her. In a way, it kind of was.

It's been haunting her, especially the mishap downstairs.

She kept asking herself: why did she stay? Why didn't she just run, and everything wouldn't have been so awkward later. She was disgusted in herself, for what she did. This wasn't supposed to happen.

But she didn't stop.

She was scared, shaking even at the thought of the prospects of what happened in the living room. However, she felt that for once, she wasn't the one watching, letting him make her happy, and she couldn't stop that. Yes, she finally got the chance to make him happy as well. She finally got to see a pure expression of bliss and tranquility afterwards. And it felt good, rubbing up against him; she couldn't deny that - but that was natural, wasn't it? She wasn't sure if she was even thinking during the entire thing. She just saw her brother there with that face, and she wanted to keep on giving it to him.

It made her curious on what else she could do to make him feel euphoric.

She shook her head.

Curious or not, she wasn't supposed to get aroused by her older brother!

May groaned, flipping around on her stomach and clutching her pillow to her chest.

She gulped, finally realizing what she did and the consequences of it all. However, she knew she was going to have to face him sooner or later. She frowned, wishing this time could never come, afraid of where this path would lead to.

She shivered, hugging herself as she was entrapped in the darkness.

* * *

><p>He couldn't concentrate all day.<p>

The only thing on his mind was May.

He couldn't even recall what he said to himself to get all the way to her door. Somehow, he was there, and he was taking deep inhales and exhales as he thought about what he was about to do. And he summed up the courage to knock.

"Come in," he heard her call. He opened the door, and there she was, laying in bed with her eyes closed, her limbs sprawled over the sheets, and her bare legs in his proximal view. He gulped, taking in a big breath and building his bravery to finally say something, anything.

"May." Her eyes widened, sitting up from her supine position and staring at her older brother with so much fear.

Was she truly afraid of him? He wasn't sure, whether if it was true and whether he wanted to find out. He frowned, and she hadn't remembered ever seeing him so broken, not even when the worst happened to them – he always smiled at her, even if it was fake. Now, however, he had enough strength to express himself, to actually show her his feelings.

"A-Ash." She didn't mean for it to come out as a stutter, but that's just how it happened. She had involuntarily gulped, swinging her legs out of bed and staring into his eyes. she was trying to decipher what he was trying to say, fearing what he was trying to say...

What was he to do in a situation like this?

Tell her the truth? Was he supposed to risk losing his little sister for his sick fantasies?

Was he supposed to lie once again, to only drown in his own regrets? He wouldn't be able to handle it. He had no more strength to hide his emotions anymore.

Was he supposed to ask her what happened then? How she felt?

It seemed like the best option, he guessed. In his mind, he found himself wishing he would have thought this through before coming in here.

"I thought we should talk about what happened-"

"Look, I'm so sorry. I-I don't know what came over me before, I-I didn't mean it!" She averted her eyes after her burst, wondering if he would be judging her for her actions.

Ash wasn't sure what to feel anymore. Relieved, because she just made everything easier for him (she pretty much said it all for him). Yet, he also felt melancholic, for he thought she would have felt something – of course she did, he was her brother. Yes, he knew she felt something, but not the way he wanted her to feel for him, not the way he felt for her.

He could feel his stomach churning, uneasiness rushing up his esophagus.

He swallowed, hoping to keep his dinner down for just a little bit longer.

"Say something," May begged, a frown covering her cute little face that made him retract from the sheer beauty.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, May. I should have stopped you or something," Ash explained. May sighed in relief. "It's really my fault. But, you don't have anything to worry about, I understand completely." She recognized his smile all too well, yet she was too relieved to dwell on or question its verity.

"Good, I'm so glad. I wasn't sure what was going on before, to be honest. I mean, mom explained a bit about my body, but she never explained… well, you know." She was blushing from all her rambling, and he thought it was gorgeous. "I thought I was going crazy or something. Man, I bet its just stress. Mom has been making me apply to all sorts of different colleges, even though I don't think I'll get in, but I was just really stressed and I had never done anything like that and…" she paused, her face heating as she realized she was talking way too much again. "Well, everything's good then, what a relief." May exhaled, pleased with the outcome of her long winded battle with herself on what to tell him. And Ash nodded, ready to bolt out of there, feeling nauseous. Everything was cleared, so he had no reason to stay: he would walk out that door, and this could just be some wacky thing he'll remember when he's older or something of that nature.

It was what he was supposed to do, right? Everything was cleared up, and he was off the hook. He didn't have to explain anything to her, and everything was back to normal.

His conscious told him how great it was.

But his heart clenched, telling him otherwise. He wished he had the balls to say something to her, do anything so his feelings wouldn't stay bottled in, so he wouldn't feel so alone.

Because for ten years, he had been doing just that, and all those times seemed to be accumulating…

It was culminating to this moment, because he didn't want to listen to his conscious or anyone else who might have stopped him from staying.

He turned around, staring at his little sister with determined eyes. He gulped, and looked straight into her cerulean orbs. She backed up a bit, feeling intimidated and self-conscious.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, a concerned look appearing.

"I need to talk to you about something really important, and you can't tell anyone, alright?" May nodded, her eyes widening and her jaw clenching. He seemed so scared and panicked, yet determined to tell her all at the same time. She felt her heart swell at this, because he had never opened up to her – not really. He never told her how he felt, or shared with her his fears and qualms.

Her heart leapt.

"What's wrong?" she asked. His eyes looked pleading, catching her by surprise.

"May, please promise me something, alright?" She nodded.

"What is it?"

"You know, that no matter what, I'll always be your big brother, and I'll love you no matter what you do or how you feel about something, anything…" he trailed off, and she stared at him strangely, confused.

"Alright, I promise." She wasn't sure where this was going. Ash sighed.

"Okay, here it goes." He had to tell her, because this was unbearable. Before he had a chance to say anymore, May clasped her hand over his for comfort.

"I hope you know that you can tell me anything. Really. I just want to help. I'll always be there for you, so you don't have to hide anything from me," she said, trying to urge him on.

He gently smiled.

It was at this moment that he realized he didn't want to open up just for himself, but for her as well. The look in her eye told him this must have been important for her that he shared with her his feelings. He wanted her to see him; he wanted her to help him. He wanted to show her his feelings, his weaknesses, everything.

"I love you." She had smiled her gentle smile again as if she already knew.

"I love you too," and she hadn't understood at all.

"No, May… I love you." Her eyes showed curiosity as her head tilted to the side, exposing her beautiful neck. Then she laughed, shaking her head.

"Ash where is this going-" he moved closer to her, as close as he possibly could and her eyes widened at his breath over her lips.

"May, I mean it! I love you so much, and not in the way I should. I love you…" He wasn't sure what brought it on – maybe he just wanted to help her understand, or maybe he just wanted to know how it was to press his lips to hers, even if it was only once – but his lips touched hers, as hard as he could, as strongly as he could, just to show her how serious he was, what he meant so she could understand. She hadn't responded to the kiss, but that was understandable. She was too shell-shocked to give any response. And he pressed down harder, thinking that if he did, she might be able to see just how much she meant to him.

He had pulled away, staring straight into her oceanic eyes full of depths he'd like to explore more. He finally mustered once more,

"I love you…"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Sorry for the short chapter, I was going to add more, but I ended it here, because, you have to admit, this seemed to me like a pretty good cliffhanger. I have most of the next chapter done, but I just have to edit it up and tweak it, so hopefully it will be out soon. Maybe by the end of this week? I'm not sure, it all depends. I make no promises. In the mean time, review! Your reviews are definitely what spurred me on to keep on writing, because I've been so tired these past weeks, you don't even know. But I at least managed to bring this to you, my awesome readers! Please, continue being awesome and keep reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **After a long month, I finally managed to get this chapter completed! I know I said it'd be earlier, but I didn't like it before. Thanks everyone for the awesome reviews! I especially want to thank an awesome friend wubbzy, who has been putting up with my pervyness for a long time now! For everyone who was awesome enough to review and tell me how they still liked it even if it was short, I made sure to make this my longest chapter yet!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, I swear!

**WARNING:** MA rating because of **lemons** and **incest**- it's pretty explicit and graphic (at least later on), so a bit of a warning now. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. **I WARNED YOU**! Since it's AU, it's a bit OOC too.

**Chapter 4**

"_I love you…" _

"May, I love you," he said through haste breaths. He gazed at her, and he noticed the way her eyes watered. She knew the way he loved her now, she understood… and she also knew it wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to love her like this, wanting to do this, wanting to kiss her like a lover. She trembled, and he held her hand, his eyes showing so much conviction.

Her gaze averted as she stared down. When her head fell, his expression and heart fell as well. It broke her heart. She never saw her brother so crestfallen. He never looked so broken, and she couldn't believe her eyes, because this was Ash, her big brother we're talking about. From their childhood years, he never showed many emotions so freely.

He looked away, not wanting her to see him so weak, so vulnerable. His mouth opened, ready to stammer out anything to get away from here, seeming to understand clearly.

"I shouldn't have… I'm sorry, I just thought…. I'm so sorry," he apologized, and stood, his back facing her now.

He was idiotic, like always. He was being irrational, like always.

Only this time, the affects were detrimental.

He might have lost his only sister forever. She must hate him for what he did.

What was he expecting? For her to fall into his arms and admit she harbored secret incestuous feelings as well?

He was stupid, like always.

* * *

><p>Her mouth fell agape.<p>

What was she supposed to do in a situation like this? Her brother just admitted he loved her, in a way he wasn't supposed to, and _what was she supposed to do now?_

She couldn't accept it, could she? No, they were siblings! How could he expect her to want something like this? How could he think she would want this?

May gulped, a thought that she tried to cover finally baring itself to her so lucidly.

_Did she want this? _

Her breath hitched, afraid of the answer.

Her eyes closed, wondering what to do because she was lost. She loved her brother, but she couldn't possibly love him in such a way, right?

But deep inside, she knew she did.

She had tried to hide the yearning, the want.

May had been afraid to speak to him before because she couldn't face him, she couldn't face what she did, what she felt.

Her heart had beat faster, her breath moved quicker…

Her eyes had opened, and she couldn't bear it. He tried to hide it from her, he tried to use the same old display he always did, but she could see: his heart was breaking.

She loved her brother. She loved him so much, and she never wanted to see him so solemn. She wanted to help him, she wanted him to smile – to smile at her. She knew there had to be something there, or else she wouldn't have done what she done, but she wasn't sure of the extent.

Before she knew it, he was about to leave.

It was then she came to her decision.

"W-wait," she stammered, standing from her bed and rushing towards him. She stared at him with sorrowful eyes.

Her fingers rose to caress his cheek, pressing down harder to get him to look her in the eye. His eyes widened, staring into determine cerulean orbs. Her eyes showed so much conviction, so much determination he had never seen in his little sister's eyes. His breath hitched, somehow forgetting how to breathe all together.

She was gorgeous.

"I-I love you too," she whispered, yet he could hear her so loud and clear. It caused a shiver to crawl up his spine as he continued to gaze into her eyes. She loved him so much, yet she wasn't sure if she could return the feelings he gave her without any hesitation. The extent was to be inquired, and she wasn't sure if she could truly go along with this. However, she knew she didn't want to let him down. Not ever. She finally wanted to be the one who gave him a smile on his face, to make him happy. He was always the one protecting her, comforting her, seizing her sobs into sure smiles. For once in her life, she wanted to do the same for him. For once, she wanted to make him feel the love he always gave her. She wanted to show him how much he meant to her, how he saved her, how he was her everything.

"Really?" he asked, and she nodded. She wasn't sure though, but she felt her heart skip every time he kissed her. It had to mean something. "May, are you-"

She gulped before she grabbed onto his shirt like life depended on it, closed her eyes, puckered her lips, and pulled him into a kiss.

Everything she had been feeling, it all had to mean something, and she was curious to find out.

She was afraid that this might be what she found, but, although in hesitation, she wanted to explore and see where this would lead.

It was all so sudden, and she wasn't sure if she could move so fast when she had just realized it, but…

She wanted to finally be the one to make her brother smile.

She knew she wanted to make it up to him more than anything. She would always love him, she knew that. She just wasn't sure if she could match his desire.

But she wanted to see him happy, and she wasn't sure what her feelings were just yet, but she liked kissing him, even if she did feel a bit timid about doing it.

She had never kissed anyone like she did Ash.

And she really enjoyed the sensation. It brought her pleasure she didn't know.

Maybe this was what was supposed to happen.

* * *

><p>He kissed her sensually, his hands moving everywhere before someone told him this was all a dream. He wanted her so much, he couldn't help it. She moaned into their kiss, feeling his hands reach her chest, squeezing over her clothes. His tongue delved into her mouth, exploring every inch as wildly and fast as possible. Her mouth felt amazing, but he wanted more; he <em>needed<em> more. His hips pressed against hers. The prominent bulge between her legs was a sure sign of his desires. And his ears got to hear her gasp at the feel as her legs shook from the sensation.

Just touching her, knowing she loved him, knowing he could do this without any hesitation was an incredible feeling. She would make cute little moans, and sometimes even purr when he reached certain areas of her body. He wanted to kiss her everywhere. His hands and lips moved frantically, pushing her against the door. Her legs where between his thigh as he moved to her neck, never knowing how wonderful this would feel.

He had enough of feeling over her clothes, so his fingers dipped under her shirt, feeling her bare stomach. His hands roamed up to the peaks of flesh that made her nipples harden over her shirt, if he wasn't hard enough… Oh god, this felt amazing!

"I love you so much," he said in between kisses, delighted by every groan releasing from her lips. At first it had mostly been him practically attacking her with his lips and tongue, but now May participated, getting accustomed to the sensation. Her hands reached over to his back, pulling him closer as her tongue dueled his instead of lightly brushing it like she was doing at first.

"A-Ash," she moaned, closing her eyes and thrusting her hips forward from the sensation. His lips moved down to her neck, all the way to her clavicle, before he pulled her tank top up to her chin, admiring every bit of her chest. She blushed, a bit embarrassed by the attention and shivered from the cold air.

He wanted to try everything with her, do everything to her. After brushing her peaks with his thumb, his mouth went to her right breast, enjoying the way she nearly screamed in pure bliss. Mays hands rushed towards his head, her fingers grasping and yanking his black, messy hair. She couldn't control her gasps of pleasure anymore.

He moved against her thigh, distinctly feeling her wetness even through her pajamas. She was so wet – he could imagine her soaked panties.

However, he wanted to give complete focus to her lovely mounds, first licking, and soon downright sucking her right one, making her quiver at the touch. Her hips jerked grinding against his thigh. He held her hips in place, concentrating at the task at hand and moving to her other nipple, suckling and making her moan and whimper every time.

Her right breast felt colder than the rest of her body, his saliva evaporating into the air, leaving her nipple perked and firm while he moved to the other.

"Oh my god May," he moaned, his teeth scrapping against her chest, and she nearly screamed from the sensation, trying to rub harder against him.

She had groaned in that moment, her head hitting the door as she exposed her alluring neck to his lustful eyes. He stopped, taking a moment to savor this beautiful scene: May's head thrown back, her mouth opened in a loud yelp, her neck exposed, her shirt yanked up to expose her pert breast, her lean stomach, her belly button, all the way down to her shapely legs, spread apart by his own thigh. Never had he imagined – okay, he did imagine, but never thought it would actually happen – his sister in this predicament with him.

And she looked so willing, so vulnerable, so bare to him… he wanted to ravish her. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. He wanted to have every part of her body to touch, please, and pleasure. God, she looked so hot.

He wanted to move his fingers lower, soon messing with the band of her pajama bottoms.

She yelped, closing her legs. Or at least attempting to… his thigh was still in the way.

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I'm moving fast, huh? I'm sorry, I just, I never thought… I'm just so happy May, you don't even know." She had never seen him smile so genuine, his eyes glowing with absolute euphoria.

"I-I know. I just never did this before. I'm scared, to be honest. I don't think I'm ready yet. I-I'm sorry," she said, blushing at the confession.

"No, it's okay. I'm just getting carried away I guess," he said through pants, his forehead against hers now and trying to catch his breath. She was as well, holding on to him in an attempt to regain some semblance of reality. "Here, let's try something else then." He dipped his fingers into his own bottoms, and for a moment, she thought she was going to see him bare again. She found herself unknowingly licking her lips, her eyes darting to his crotch.

He hadn't noticed, however, and merely adjusted himself for comfort. Ash brought one of her legs up, letting her wrap it around his hips as he pressed himself against her, the friction making her feel hot. She shook, closing her eyes and giving this feeling complete focus, and she almost regretted not going all the way.

But after, she didn't have time to think when he moved faster against her clothed body, her wetness reaching his own bottoms as they meshed, meeting each other thrust after thrust. He loved every minute of it. The more he thrust the more she moaned, even louder than before. It made him want to push harder, move faster, fuck her for everything it was worth. Ash didn't think he could last much longer, his hands reaching up and tweaking and pulling her nipples before she stopped her thrust, attempting to say something coherent.

"I think I-I'm…" she all but screamed, and he quickly covered her lips with his own, a sudden fear of someone waking. He groaned, seeing white before he shot cum all over his bottoms, the only thing in the way from spraying it over May's thighs.

They panted in completion, satisfaction reaching their worn out faces. He nuzzled, hugging her before helping her to her bed for sleep.

"I better go," he suggested, lightly kissing her lips.

She smiled, nodding in understanding.

"G'night."

"G'night. I love you," he said, and her heart seemed to swell at the words, feeling more and more at ease with the new sentiment.

She felt as though it was worth it to try.

* * *

><p>It had been two weeks since he confessed to her.<p>

"I love you May," he said, and he'd casually kiss her, so used to it, able to do it without any regrets. She sat up from bed, tenderly smiling as he gazed into her eyes. And then he'd kiss her again, more forcefully this time. She'd fall, her head lying on the pillow while he continued, roaming everywhere he could get his lips on, his hands on every curve her body had. It felt so nice, doing this so freely, knowing she was his.

Every kiss, every caress, every nibble, every lick… she loved all of it.

Yet, no matter how right it felt, her brain kept on saying how wrong it was. It kept on pounding in her skull, always having her hold back from the ministrations and stop before it got too out of hand.

But it still felt good, and she loved the fact their kisses were covert, sneaking around behind their parent's backs. It was exciting and she found her heart pounding every time he pulled her into an alcove, every time he sneaked into her room, every time he'd gently caress her thigh underneath the dinner table... she would squeeze her legs together, squirming at the touch.

There was one time that especially made her heart pound out of her chest.

He had snuck into her room, and his hands would move to her waist while she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in.

"D-don't worry," he panted. "I'm not going to make you do anything you're not ready for or anything." Relief swept over her. No matter how much she loved her brother, she wasn't ready to go further in their relationship at the moment.

But she couldn't deny the heat rushing in between her legs, soon squeezing them together so he wouldn't notice. She gulped at his smug eyes staring down at her.

He noticed.

"You know how I touched myself before?" he asked. She nodded. "Do you need to, I mean-" She tried to close her legs tighter, trying to stop her hips from jerking. She bit her lip, averting her eyes. "I-it's okay, May. It's normal, you know."

"I-I know that," she snapped, a blush rushing up her cheeks. "I'm just…" she trailed off, her words unable to form.

"Did you want me to help? Or do you want me to go?" he asked, and he prayed for the former.

"No, you can stay. I mean, I did watch you get off. It's fair, right?" she asked, and he couldn't speak. His little sister speaking like this was new to him. He had to bite his lips from the pressure between his pants – the things she could do to him with mere words (and what she said wasn't even explicit)! How she could do this to him was a phenomenon to him.

May frowned. "I don't feel too comfortable like this." May admitted, afraid to go on. Ash nodded. "It's just that I've never done anything like this before, and I'm scared since it would be my first time," she quickly mentioned, not wanting him to think it was his fault. "Sorry." He gave her a reassured smile in understanding.

"Don't be. This is all new to both of us, and well, I don't know if this is moving too fast either. I just know that I love you so much, May," he said, and she brought his face to hers, their lips not smashing, but lightly grazing, as this kiss felt more sensual than any kiss she had ever felt. She almost forgot how to breathe, and his hands made their way to her jaw, guiding and moving with her.

This was the best kiss she had ever had with him – ever had in her life.

Everything seemed better. And May gulped, wondering what would happen if her fingers covered his evident bulge, because somehow, she felt ready, and she wanted to pleasure him the way he did her.

He groaned, jerking his hips upward. "May," he said in between gritted teeth, and she loved the way his face contorted in bliss.

Ash wasn't sure what she was doing, but it felt incredible. His eyes widened when she hypnotically unzipped his pants and tried to bring them down along with his boxers.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, but her eyes soon got a hold of his member, staring blankly and entranced. She had never seen one so close before, and his precum was already oozing out, glistening. She hadn't learned much from her parents, but that was why she had the lovely internet for this type of stuff. No, she hadn't looked through much, but she learned enough to understand.

Her knees buckled, continuing to stare in awe. May gulped, her fingers barely grazing the tip before Ash groaned in frustration. She felt the fluid in between her fingers, feeling the texture.

"M-May, you're killing me," he managed, thrusting forward to show her how much he wanted her to touch him more. It was all so surreal, having his little sister not only stare at his member, but have her touch him. Yet, he couldn't help but think how much of a tease she was being, even though he already knew she probably didn't realize it. "Please," he begged, closing his eyes.

With a bit of hesitation, she found herself grabbing his cock, wrapping one hand around it. He all but groaned at the feeling, encouraging her to continue. She did, stroking lightly before her grip finally became firm, pumping him in a quicker rhythm that almost made him blow his load right then and there.

He had made her gasp in the middle of it, his own fingers dipping into her underwear, exploring. She didn't mind anymore, not really. It felt amazing, and it made her squirm at the sensation. Either that or she was too preoccupied to care.

Ash took satisfaction in the fact that she was already seeping wet to the touch, circling her nub before running his fingers over her slit. He was teasing her like she had done to him. He could feel a damp strip of hair, his breath hitching just at the fact that he was touching her in such a way. He wanted to taste her so much, his need escalating. She mewled her want, unconsciously moving her hips forward to try to bury his fingers into her. He obeyed, his fingers plunging in between her folds, forcing May to stop her ministrations all together as she groaned in rapture.

"_May?"_ Her eyes widened at her mother's voice. Oh god, if she found them like this…

Ash was already rolling off the bed, crawling under. The door clicked open, her mother coming into view with a basket of clean and folded clothes.

"I brought up your clothes, dear."

"T-thanks mom." She hoped she sounded normal, and not hoarse like she usually was after messing around.

"Are you alright? You seem flushed," she wondered with concern.

"I'm fine mom!" she said, praying she didn't question her further. Fortunately her prayer was answered.

"Oh, have you seen your brother? I didn't see him in his room." Her heart began to pound so hard that she felt as though it would pound out of her chest.

"Nope. He's probably playing with Max or something," May suggested, and her mother nodded.

"I better go check. I don't want to see either of them playing too late. Goodnight dear,"

"G'night." The door closed shut, and Ash made his way out from under the bed.

"That was a close call," he chuckled. May nodded, getting her heart to finally stop racing. She finally glared, smacking him on his arm.

"You didn't lock my door?" she whispered with hinted anger that almost came in tandem with his mother's.

"Maybe we should stop for now," she suggested and Ash squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip but soon nodding in understanding.

"You're right, mom's gonna go crazy if she doesn't find me. I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her roughly this time, and she had to think this was another one of her favorite kisses in farewell.

They weren't going to be sleeping anytime soon.

* * *

><p>His mother's flaming temper never seized to amaze him. How many times had he heard her nagging and nagging? How many times had they had this particular argument?<p>

"Look Ash, I just want what's best for you. It's for your own good. You're not doing anything productive, and you need to find a job! I'm tired of always telling you this," she said.

"Yeah, I know mom," he began, but she hastily interrupted.

"Don't go saying 'yeah' to me when you won't! You say yeah now, but you never follow through! I'm sick and tired of this with you. If you're not going to college, you can find a job." He was about to open his mouth to interject, but his mother's scolding eyes caused him to zip it.

"And I don't want to hear about how you can't find one. You had only looked that one time, and now you seem to have given up. I don't want to hear it anymore. All I want to see is you get off the couch and get out of this house to look for a job. I don't care if it's minimum wage or whatever your excuses were last time. You're going out there today, and you're finding a job!" She let out a huge huff, seeming to finish her long rant. She grabbed her head, shaking her head in disappointment and heading upstairs to lie down like she would usually do after her "big talks."

Ash frowned, feeling a bit ashamed for always bringing his mother to a headache, but still felt quite a bit of resentment for her words too, no matter how right she was. It was mostly because of pride, because he never did like getting scolded at, and he was eighteen and she treated him as though he was Max's age.

"_I'd treat you like the man you're supposed to be if you actually acted like one."_ He grimaced at the words echoing in his mind. He swore, his mother's words were engrained in his brain now; it was hard to keep from hearing it whenever he did something stupid or was about to. He sighed, irritated, and headed upstairs.

He guessed there was no avoiding it. He had to look for a job.

He stomped his way upstairs towards his room, and slammed the door behind him. He was pleasantly surprised when May was in his room, seeming to be doing something on his computer.

"Another fight with mom?" May asked, never taking her eyes off the screen. Ash laughed.

"It's not like you don't already know," he said, looking through his dirty laundry for something to wear, since he forgot to wash his clothes. When May finally looked over, she cringed at him.

"Ugh, that's so gross," she commented, and Ash rolled his eyes.

"Well, got any better ideas? I don't have anymore clean clothes."

"When that happens, you go and wash them," she said, rolling her eyes. He smirked, throwing his dirty shirt right at her face. "Eew, it stinks!"

"That's what you get," he laughed as she threw the T-shirt back at him. He easily caught it.

"You're unbelievable," she groaned.

"You love me." Her throat tightened when he made his way to her, ready to kiss her.

"You smell," she quickly said, giggling at his smirk.

"It's my manly scent," he quickly interjected, and she sighed.

"You're not going to get a job like that. Take a shower and wash some clothes," she ordered, and he mimicked her, making her smack him in the arm.

"Shut up and do as I say,"

"Oh yeah? You're not the boss of me," Ash said childishly, sticking out his tongue in defiance, and she stuck out her tongue as well, crossing her arms. He smirked, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist and opening his mouth to cover her lips. She gasped in surprise, but soon relaxed. She sighed, nudging him.

"You really need t stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Surprising me like that! Give me some warning next time!"

"You're just mad I won this one." She sighed, exasperated.

"Just go take a shower."

* * *

><p>When Ash made it back to his room, he was drying his hair with a towel, rubbing it and making it even messier than it originally was. He found May still at the computer, doing something – homework, probably. His mother was relentless.<p>

"Hey, do you want to go with me? I'm going to see if they're hiring at the mall." May's eyes seemed to brighten at the thought of the mall, finally taking her eyes off the screen

"Oh my god, _yes_! I don't get to buy anything most of the times I go with mom. She does not know anything that's trendy,"

"And you do?"

"Well _duh!_" May practically shouted, scaring him at the though of how emotional she gets as something as shopping. He shrugged.

"Whatever. That's fine and all, but just remember I'm there to look for a job," he reminded and she rolled her eyes. Ash never did like shopping. She inwardly laughed.

"Yeah, just let me get ready then. _Ugh, _you should have told me you were going to the mall," May jumped off the chair and raced to her room to pick out some clothes.

"Just don't take too-" the door slammed. "long." He sighed, knowing that hadn't reached her. It probably never would anyways.

* * *

><p>It should have been incredibly complicated.<p>

Yet, to him, it was as simple as him loving her and her loving him.

It was still too complicated for her though. So many things held her back from loving him truly, in the way that was desired.

It wasn't always so complicated, and for Ash, it didn't have to be.

He loved her.

And for him, it was as simple as that.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I hope to maintain this length for each of the chapters, so look forward to that! Till Next time, please review for me! I really need to know if my execution of this chapter was acceptable or not! Hmm, I think there will probably be three more chapters left. And there is a reason why I didn't do full out lemons or why they get interrupted. But I still hope you guys liked it though.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, I swear!

**WARNING:** MA rating because of **lemons** and **incest**- a bit of a warning now. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read. **I WARNED YOU**! Since it's AU, it's a bit OOC too.

**Author's Note: **I'm very sorry for this taking a while to get out! It's been so long, at one point I forgot about it, lol. Hopefully I'll be forgiven though! Thank you again to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it!

**Chapter 5**

"It's just not fair. You don't go anywhere, and he still taught _you _how to drive." Ash couldn't help but smirk.

"First, that's because of pure laziness. I'd rather be playing video games," he laughed. "Second, it's because Dad loves me more." She scowled and he rolled his eyes.

"It's because he wants to protect me."

"Well duh. You're his precious little girl. A little girl like you shouldn't be going out in big cars, out to the big city." She scowled even more, and he laughed when she smacked his arm. "Come on, I'm just kidding! You know that."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you get to tease me!"

"I'm your brother, of course that means I get to tease you about it. I'm obligated to actually. Hey- ouch, what have you been doing lately? Lifting? That actually hurt." He rubbed his shoulder. She had laughed, sticking her tongue out in victory.

"Good. And no I haven't. I've just been hiding my strength all along." She smirked. "Besides, unless you want me to tease you, I suggest you stop." Her sultry smile was alluring, but her hot breath on his neck and her tone of voice was pure seduction.

It was the first time she initiated anything like this, where she'd talk like this. It was pure seductiveness to his ears as he hesitantly listened, hanging onto every word she said.

"I can probably teach you, you know," he suggested, and she leaned back, her eyes wide and the biggest grin on her face.

"Oh thank you so much! If someone doesn't teach me, I'll never learn! Please, please, please! I need to learn!" Ash smiled at her excited face, her mind going off in a different tangent.

* * *

><p>May sighed in relief when they had finally made it to the mall. The car ride felt so awkward for her, she had no idea what to do with herself, where to put her hands, anything. But now, she was happy they could split up so she could shop and get her mind off of this whole mess. She was already feeling hot, and he didn't even touch her yet.<p>

"Ash, you don't have to stay with me you know. You have something important to do," she reminded him, a small smile gracing her face.

"Nah. Besides, I don't want you getting lost," he laughed, making May glare as she crossed her arms. "I'm just kidding."

"Good. I'm a big girl, you know." Oh, he knew. He knew far too well. He shook his head, getting those thoughts out of his mind.

"Ash, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"What are you thinking of doing for your future?" Ash frowned, thinking.

"I never really thought about it. I just thought mom would let me stay at the house forever," he laughed, unable to see May's frown.

"Ash, if it's because of us, Max and I-"

"It's _not_ because of you two. You shouldn't be worried about my future. It is mine after all; I can take care of myself. Anyways, I wasn't serious about staying there forever."

"I'm just worried."

"Don't be." May still frowned. "Besides, I'm looking for a job, aren't I? Anyways, don't blame yourself. It's _my_ laziness to not do anything," Ash rationalized. May sighed, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Just make sure you're thinking about it. You can still get into a college, you know." Ash laughed at that.

"That's not for me. You know that. I'm not the studious type."

"I'm just trying to name out some options, Ash. Really, Mom's arguing with you about this for a reason."

"So I get enough of it from her, sis." He crossed his arms and huffed stubbornly. "Like I said, don't worry about it."

She gave him a stare she did when she was just a kid, her eyes gleaming with worry, trying to decipher what was going on in his mind until she gave a familiar halfhearted smile as she looked to the ground.

* * *

><p>It was then that she came out the dressing room.<p>

"W-what do you think?" She didn't miss the way he licked his lips, practically undressing her with his eyes. She blushed, wondering why her heart was pounding so much. This tension growing more and more intense.

"You look amazing May," he said, completely taken off guard. May quickly, makes her way back into the dressing room, not sure what to do with the attention she received. She quickly changed out of that dress and into her clothes, blushing as she did so.

* * *

><p>"Why didn't you get anything?" Ash asked, not understanding girls at all. Even when they were broke, they still enjoyed going to the mall and trying on clothes <em>for fun<em>. It was a hassle enough when he had to go get clothes, but to want to do that for fun? He would never understand.

May shrugged. "I was just looking. I need to save my money anyways."

"You looked amazing in that dress, by the way. You should have gotten it." He said, and May blushed again, looking down to the ground. She was afraid of getting it, really. She was afraid of keeping it on for any longer. She could only imagine what Ash would have done to her if she didn't change out of it. Her face grew warm, her mind taking her to extremely raunchy thoughts. She wondered if he would have taken her right there and then, and she blushed, cursing her teenage hormones.

She thinks of him grabbing her, pushing her against the wall, locking the door to the dressing room behind him. He would lift her up by her butt, squeezing rather tightly, kissing her and rubbing against her. She wondered if they'd go farther, like unzip his pants and rub himself against her.

It most likely wouldn't have been long before she found herself taking that dress off, anyways. She began to grow hot, her thoughts taking her to places they shouldn't in a public area. She imagined him touching her so sensually, grabbing ahold of her breast, and licking them like he did before, sucking, making her moan. He would feel her body, roaming south to play, bringing down her cotton white panties and making her bite her lip to suppress a moan.

She brought her legs together as she could, already knowing she was wet at the mere thought. She couldn't imagine how she would be if he was actually doing that to her, finally inserting his fingers into her while his thumb was rubbing above, the spot where it made her quiver and moan at the same time. Where she shook from the mere sensation. He'd usually only insert one finger, then add two, then three, and then four, and by then she was using her hands to shut her mouth from her loud moans. It would be too much. She looked down seeing him stroke something else that might be too much for her to take. She blushed, wondering how that, his dick, would feel like inside her. She wondered what it would feel like for him to spread her legs open, massaging her entrance until he finally made his way inside of her, pushing, slowly… she wasn't sure if it would hurt, but she was scared it might. She heard that with the right preparation, it wouldn't hurt at all, actually. Maybe it'd feel great, Ash moving slowly inside her at first, pumping in and out, until his movements would begin to quicken in pace, his thrust into her becoming harder and more reckless as he would pound in to her.

By this point, May was as read as a tomato, thinking of different ways Ash would have her.

Her mind got back to reality when Ash spoke up. "I'm thinking… May, are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." She said, waving him off. He held a look of disbelief, placing his hand on her forehead to see if she was sick. "You're burning up though. You need to go home or to the hospital or something? I can call mom-"

"No! I'll be fine! What were you saying?" She asked.

"Well I was going to say how I should apply somewhere at the food court." Ash explained. May laughed. "What's so funny?"

"I just can't imagine you working… you'd probably be eating the inventory," May muttered, making Ash glare at her as she laughed. He smirked.

"We'll see about that," his fingers launched to her sides, making her gasp as she received a tickling of a lifetime. "What was that you said? I dare you to say it again."

"I-I said… stop it!" She continued to laugh.

"I don't think that's what you said."

"Okay, I give, I give," she said in between gasps and giggles.

"Good. Alright, you wait here while I see if any of these places are hiring, okay?" May nodded, sitting at one of the tables, feeling a bit bored now. She looked around, and couldn't help but notice the different people walking by. She couldn't help but take notice at the couples especially, hand in hand, giving each other small pecks on the cheek. She frowned when she looked back at her brother, knowing that if this continued, she'd never be able to be like any of these couples.

Was that what she really wanted? Maybe she wanted to experience the things actual teenage couples did: go out on dates, hold hands in public…

She loved her brother, but what if she wanted a normal relationship? She didn't even know what normal was to be completely honest, but she knew being with her brother wasn't normal.

"Hey, you look bored. Why is someone as pretty as you here all by yourself?" May's train of thought broke at the voice before her. She looked up from her seat to see a young man about her age standing before her.

"Uh…" May was speechless. She blushed, wondering if this was really happening to her right here, right now. This boy had an odd color for hair, it being green, but it somehow suited him.

"My name is Drew. Could I know your name?"

"May." She said, looking down to the grown. She wished she could handle this better than she was now, she had no idea what to say to this guy in a situation like this. She wasn't sure what to really do. She never had a random guy just come up and start talking to her.

"Look, I just came by because I thought you looked beautiful, and I would like to get to know you more. Could I have your number?"

"My number, huh?" May was completely confused at this. She watched movies of something like this happening, but never had she ever thought of something like this actually happening in real life. She remembered how it was handled in particular movies, but she was sure that would send the wrong message.

Her cheeks grew hot in embarrassment, her face becoming red. This was the first time a boy besides her brother ever showed any interest in her. Then again, she didn't go out enough to really talk to any other boys. She wondered if this is how normal relationships started. She blushed at the thought.

"May, is this guy giving you trouble?" May turned around to see her brother. She smiled, feeling relieved that he was here to get her out of this mess.

"Who's this?" Drew asked glaring at Ash.

"That's my brother," May answered, and Drew seemed to stop his tough guy attitude and smiled in understanding.

"Ah, I see. Well it's nice to meet you, I was just here talking to May for a bit cause she seemed bored. No reason to be protective," Drew reasoned, changing his demeanor, but Ash still didn't like this guy's smug attitude.

"I think there's plenty reason for me to be protective."

"Ash, leave it alone. He hasn't done anything wrong, we were just talking," May interjected, holding him back. Ash sighed, annoyed with the guy. He didn't like him at all.

"Well, I hope to see you sometime soon, May. If you ever get bored, call me." He grabbed a sheet of paper from his pocket and wrote a few digits before placing it on the counter. Drew waved, and walked off. Ash continued to glare as he faded into the crowd. Mays eyes widened, staring down at the little piece of paper on the counter.

"Let's go home," Ash said, clenching his fist as he made his way to leave. May frowned.

"But what about your applications?"

"Apparently they're all done online anyways, so let's go."

May sighed, nodding in agreement. She looked back at her brother, grabbing the piece of paper and slipping it into her pocket before she followed him.

The trip back was rather loud, with Ash glaring and complaining the entire way home. May was silent, just listening, contemplating.

Ash finally stopped talking about the event when he saw his sister with a melancholy expression. He frowned.

"Is something wrong May?" he asked. She looked up and smiled, shaking her head.

"No, not really. I was just thinking: is… that what usually happens? I remember seeing movies about guys asking girls out like that, but it kinda seemed weird to me," she said. Ash shrugged.

"Um… I guess so. As you can see, I'm not really good with that kind of stuff." She giggled. "What's so funny."

"It's cause you never tried it, you know." Ash frowned.

"I don't have to try asking any other girls out, because I already know which girl I love more than anything in this world." He said, taking her hand and squeezing. She squeezed back, but he noticed it wasn't as strong. He frowned.

"I love you too. It's just… don't you feel like you're missing out?" she asked.

"No. Why, do you?" he asked, clenching his jaw.

"No, no, of course not. I was just curious. I mean, I'm sure you can find a pretty girl at the mall, too. You do have good taste you know." She smiled. He chuckled, feeling more at ease with her teasing.

"Yeah, I do have good taste, huh? But you know I love you. I wouldn't want anyone else but you." She nodded, forcing a smile.

"And what about that Drew guy? Where you interested in him?"

"No! He's just the first guy besides my brother to really talk to me like that you know. So I was just wondering."

Ash nodded. May noticed he was dismayed as he looked at the road, and May frowned.

"You're much cuter than he was, anyways." She quickly added, blushing as she looked down. Ash chuckled at the thought, and May smiled, relief at his easy going attitude once more.

* * *

><p>"May, May!" their excited mother called from downstairs. It had been three days since they went to the mall, and May was studying when she heard her mother's call. Everyone heard her mother, actually. Ash peaked out, a look of confusion on his face as he went downstairs with her. Their mother was very happy for some reason as she made her way to May with an unopened letter in her hand.<p>

"May, you have something in the mail," her mother called excitedly. "It's from that university you applied to!" May's eye's widen, her heart beginning to pound. She completely forgot about the application she sent in. It had been so long and although she was hoping for a letter, she didn't expect one until later. She gulped, about to open it.

"Oh, I can't open it, you open it for me!" she told Ash, handing it to him and closing her eyes. Ash smiled, ripping the letter open. "Wait, let me be the first to read it though!" May exclaimed, snatching it back. "But what if I didn't get in?"

"Just read the letter!" Max interjected from the couch, getting annoyed by his older sister's anxiousness.

"Oh my god, I got in, I actually got in!" May exclaimed, hugging her brother in utter joy.

"Oh congratulations sweetie," their mother said as she kissed her cheek and hugged her as well. "Such great news! I'm overjoyed to finally have a future scholar in the house." She said, and Ash rolled his eyes. He knew she was taking a jab at him for not going to college with that last remark. "Oh, this calls for a celebration! I'll make your favorite desert May!" she announced as she made her way into the kitchen. "Ash, come help me get those ingredients on the top shelf dear." Ash sighed, following her.

"I can't believe I'm going to the school I wanted! It has the best journalism program!" May said.

"So you'll be leaving us?" Max asked, attempting to not feel too sad at the thought. May did annoy him at times, but she is still his big sister. May's eyes widen at the thought. It was in another state, wasn't it? She looked down at the paper, a frown forming.

"I…I guess so." Throughout the whole night she was lost in thought. She wasn't sure what was going to happen.

"May, sweetie, why aren't you eating? It's your favorite: hamburgers!" Her mother attempted to get her out of her stupor. She looked up, smiling.

"Sorry, I guess I was just thinking about everything I need to do to prepare. But yeah, I'm starving," she lied, attempting to regain her rather big appetite.

"I also made your favorite chocolate cake! Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you. Our little girl, the first one to go to college." May sheepishly smiled, looking continuing to eat her food. "Too bad your older brother isn't following in _your_ footsteps." She added, and Ash groaned, standing up and leaving the table.

"Ash," May called, but he didn't listen. "Mom, why would you say that? You know Ash hates it when you talk like that."

"I'm just trying to remind him that he has a life too. He should have been in college by now, too. It's a shame that he's letting his potential go to waste like that."

"Cilia, really. This was supposed to celebrate May's accomplishment, not undermine Ash," their father interjected.

"I'll go talk to him," May said, standing up and heading upstairs.

* * *

><p>"Ash? Ash, are you okay?" she asked. She knocked on his door, before opening it. She was surprised, when a hand grabbed her and pulled her into the room, closing the door. "Ash, what are you-"she began to whisper, but was interrupted by his quick lips, so forceful, so demanding.<p>

"Ash, we should talk-"

"Not right now, just kiss me." He said, crashing his lips to hers once more. She allowed it, for a bit, until she pushed back.

"Ash, we have to talk now."

"No we don't. Let's just celebrate. We haven't really done anything recently, and I need you." He was moving closer when May pushed back.

"Ash!" she tried so hard to make her whisper as stern as possible, finally getting him to listen.

"What's wrong?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"I don't want to deal with Mom right now. She's acting like a bitch with all this, and I'm tired of it. I just want you, May."

"But Ash, you can't just have me, you know. What's going to happen when I leave, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Ash, the college I got accepted to is in another state, weren't you listening before?"

"I must have forgot." She groaned, shaking her head. "Well, we'll worry about that when that day comes."

"No! We can't just wait, we need to talk about it now! I'm going to be preparing for college, and well, I'm going to be leaving here, you know. What's going to happen?"

"Well, we could move in together, and-"

"Be together? Live happily ever after? It's not that simple, Ash. It can't go on like this, you know."

"What do you mean? I can find a job over there, and we can-"

"Ash, you're being delusional!" She breathes, attempting to maintain a quiet voice, all the while attempting not to cry. "Ash, we're brother and sister. We're not supposed to have that kind of relationship. As long as we're together, things will never be normal, we can't live as if we're a normal couple." She continued, wiping the tears that began forming.

"Why are you talking like this? Did that Drew guy get to you?" he asked, looking away from her. "I've noticed you've changed since we went to the mall."

"No, of course not, he has nothing to do with this. It's just… things are changing so fast, how can it possibly work out? How can we ever have a normal relationship when this isn't normal? What we're doing doesn't make sense at all!" He was taking by surprised, not sure what to say. She was right, he knew she was.

He took a step forward, wanting to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she took a step back, knowing it wasn't, knowing what he was going to do, knowing what he was going to say, and knowing it would be a lie. How she felt, in her heart, she didn't care. How she wanted so much to agree with him so he could hold her in his arms and whisper the things he would always say when they were little: how everything would be okay, how they would all be okay. How she could easily believe him. But she couldn't allow that, not anymore. She wasn't a child anymore, she wouldn't believe him.

After she took another step back, he knew her choice was clear. He took a step back as well, waiting for her to leave. His jaw clenched, his fist clenching with his mind working at racing speeds. Tonight was unbearable. He just wanted to throw something, punch something. He felt like an idiot. A complete idiot.

He was foolish, to think this little affair would last. Foolish. He was cruel, to expect his sister to be by his side forever. He always thought she was the one who needed him, but now, he knew that was not the truth.

He needed her more than anything, and he was too blind to see that fact.

May's words echoed in his mind. _Normal relationship._

He realized he'd be depriving her of the opportunity to get a normal relationship, and he felt horrible to stop her. He sat on the bed, feeling so lost, attempting to keep himself together, to keep himself from breaking. He was too busy thinking to hear when his sister left his room. He shook, wondering the irony all this was: he was the one who was supposed to protect her, and in the end she needed protection from him.

* * *

><p>"Ash," May whispered, bringing her hands to the door as she heard sobs, and her tears continued to fall. She never heard her brother cry, not even when their parents died. This time, it was too much for him to deal with. Too much for him to deal with alone Right now, more than anything she wished she could be the one to go in there and tell him everything was going to be okay, but she couldn't. She always wanted to be the one there for him, yet… she was the one to cause all this. Her feelings told her to go in there and comfort him, and kiss him and love him how he so desperately needed right now, but what was she supposed to do? She wasn't sure what to do herself, unsure if she could even handle this. She was petrified, shaking as she attempted to not make her sobs be known.<p>

In her mind, she told herself this was supposed to happen. She was never supposed to have feelings for her brother, and he wasn't supposed to have feelings for her. They were supposed to find other people, and date them. That was normal. That's what they were supposed to do, not this. She was supposed to go off to college, date guys, and potentially marry one someday. She was supposed to find a guy that was _not_ her brother.

Yet, being away, being unable to comfort her brother gave her a very hollow feeling. Her heart and mind were moving in completely different directions. Her back met the door, and she slid to the floor, staring at the ceiling, attempting to stay strong. Usually her brother would be right there, comforting her.

She thought of the countless movies she watched, finally understanding what it felt like to lose a boyfriend, what it felt like to go through one of those break ups.

No, it wasn't the same however. May felt as though she lost more than a lover.

At that moment, she felt as though she lost the only person that was with her through thick and thin, the only person that was there for her when life got rough.

The only person that would hug her and comfort her through the loss of their parents.

She lost the only person that kept her sane through their time at the orphanage. The person that would hug her when it got too cold. The only person that would play with her, and push her on the swings.

The only person that helped her adjust to her new life with their foster family.

The only person that would truly listen.

The only person that would truly understand.

No, she lost much more than a boyfriend.

She lost her brother.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I apologize. This chapter was long overdue. Life got the better of me, and hadn't had the chance to update since who knows how long. And I bet the angst in this chapter didn't make up for it, either. I apologize again. Well, I hope I can continue with this. I'm not sure how many chapters are left, to be honest, but things will get sorted out. Hopefully. Either way, please let me know your thoughts. I know this fic is supposed to have lots of lemons, but I wanted to have my first story at least have some type of plot. Which means with the plot I have, this probably needed to be address eventually, so here we go.


End file.
